Most of us have no problem giving.
If you are like me, it is second-nature that when you are out and about and see something that reminds you of someone you care for, you buy it. This touches peoples hearts more than we may ever recognize.
When someone asks you to go out of your way to do a favor, your instinct is to say ‘yes’ even if you have to rearrange a few things because you like to help.
When I have not spoken to someone in awhile and they enter my thoughts, I will shoot a quick text or email “I was just thinking of you, miss you”. Sometimes that is all it takes to turn someone’s day around. To know someone is thinking about them.
I have come to the realization that while i have no problem giving, I have always had a difficult time receiving which I am still working on. Believe it or not my clients are the ones that have helped me come to this place of learning to accept kind words and gestures.
“When is the last time someone bought you something just because”?
It was an innocent question asked by a wonderful client I see every few months. She came to see me for a session and brought me back something from her recent vacation. She also brought me a cup of coffee.
I was caught off-guard and she knew it. I admit it, I got teary-eyed- I cry for everything ok? 😉 I cry when I’m happy, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, etc- I’m a crier.
The box was wrapped beautifully and she instructed me ‘open it later’. Yes m’am!
What she bought me was a gorgeous wind chime made of Green Jade. Now, for those of you that know me, you know that I have a love of genuine stones. I may be a little obsessed, actually. I have them everywhere, and have many pieces of jewelry.
It touched my heart fifteen- ways to Sunday or however the saying goes! I called her and must have thanked her ten times. It was so beautiful both by looks and sentiment.
On my drive home I thought about it….why do I always feel so surprised when someone does something thoughtful for me? Why do I automatically feel like I am the only one that can give yet receiving feels so foreign? That’s a little selfish, isn’t it?
That answer is like an onion and as I peel it back layer by layer, it sometimes stings, there are tears involved and that’s ok. Healing is quite complex but the most important thing is that I am working through it.
I made a vow to myself to be very conscious of how i react when somebody does something unexpectedly kind towards me, or gives me something ‘just because’.
As always, the universe wanted to make sure I got the lesson.
Later that night, my friend Terry came over for dinner. I had not seen her in awhile. She walked in the door with these beauties.
I give her a huge hug, she hands these to me and says ‘here’.
Me: “what are these for”?
Terry: “because you’re my friend and I love you”.
I tear up as usual, but I didn’t carry on about why she shouldn’t have done that which was my instinct, I shut my mouth and instead, I marveled at the beautiful colors and put them in a vase as we began to catch up.
Giving is wonderful, but is necessary that we allow ourselves to receive as well.
Do you allow yourself to receive?
Peace & Love,